so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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