you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Jerry, you need to find god
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
