I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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