I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
