the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I've blown a few things in my day
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
