you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I AM VODKA MAN
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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