this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize