he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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