i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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