chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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