I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
