Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
