This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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