Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
