an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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