if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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