Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
