just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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