What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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