But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
