he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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