I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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