I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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