my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
