Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
