Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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