I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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