I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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