I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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