And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
