I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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