dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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