these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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