so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
