You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
