Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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