Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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