My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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