he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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