yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
