We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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