My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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