Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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