do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
did i just pee glitter
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
