you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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