I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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