I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What happened to fro yo and sex?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
