why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
