Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
