Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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