he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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