do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
