I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
