watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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