she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think people are normalizing furries
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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