this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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