Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
