It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
