He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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