Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
