dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
