tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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