hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
